Revolutions Between Situational Anxiety And Anxiety

What is situational Anxiety and anxiety?

We will have to start by defining the latter half of this question first. Anxiety is defined as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” – Oxford Dictionary…This only can mean that situational anxiety is the exact same thing but is caused by a situation, rather than a predisposition or mental illness.

How Anxiety Affects Me

A crippling bothersome feeling overwhelms me. The constant underlying feeling of losing control. A heavy feeling of heaviness on your chest. I feel just like Giles Corey in The Crucible. Except the difference is instead of saying “More weight” I beg for the weight to be lifted off of me. Anger always seems to get the best of me as I get irritated at the most rational request. On the inside I feel sad and lonely because I am short with people. So I will seclude myself causing even more loneliness. Most of the time it is regular anxiety that affects me. I can’t narrow it down what is bothering me. That bothers me more. Then it becomes situational anxiety because I have anxiety about why I have anxiety. It’s troublesome sharing my situational anxiety with people. I feel defenseless. Putting down my defenses, and sharing everything about myself is almost near impossible. Even to the people I’m closest to. I get my anxiety out by writing in my journal and this blog(Which I haven’t done the best this past week). Other times, which most of the time, I don’t handle my anxiety well. I just pace the floor. I did something different this time and wrote a rap about my anxiety. I used some words that are old English. If you don’t understand them, it’s okay. I knew what I meant and that is what mattered.

My Anxiety Rap

In the distance my reality seems quaint
For the realm I live in, the thoughts, and dreams
Are as I say ever-so far from faint

With my life lack of quate
Or maybe just in my eyes
For in another’s it may be far from innate

Though nobody may ask, I am no saint
But what begotten are the…
These anxieties that act more like a haint

My mind tells me things, they’re taint-
-ed….It only tells me what I could do
Not what I can do, as I said what I caint

My self respect is at all low, that I don’t participate
It never feels good, to have no self love
But what I need to believe, is me, me, I am abstrait

Abstract, abstract is what I am, unique, unique is first-rate
I say first-rate but what I mean is I’m in first-place
If only if I could feel, how I feel when I make others’ elate

What your reading is an abstrait
of My first-rate, my first-rate first-place rap
About my anxieties, how I feel, and how they’re collate-

My Anxiety And “How I Cope”

Hypersonic beating heart, an apocryphal internal trembling body, perspiring hands and feet, impetuous thoughts, what do all these things have in common?  They are the traits of my anxiety.  I constantly endure them.  One may suggest that over time you get acclimated to the feelings of solicitude.   Obtaining the ability to do so, however, has not arisen. Assimilating into the general population of my surroundings I do not do very well.  I remain and linger within my residence majority of the time.  Pacing the floor due to my severe ADHD mixed with Bipolar disorder.  I feel the need to undertake a task, but my anxiety and depression from my Bipolar disorder prevent me from following through while the ADHD forces me to keep moving.  I do not have many good days, as the majority are bad.  How do I cope with these sensations and bad days you may inquire?

  • Journaling – Release your thoughts.  This is your chance to be honest with yourself.  Your deepest darkest fears, thoughts, sins, faults, failures, and accomplishments can be written down.  When I journal I leave no stone unturned.  It’s my chance to release everything off my chest.
  • Deep Breathing – I don’t use all the timed deep breathing techniques that therapists may give you.  I breathe in through my mouth, when I feel my lungs are full I suck in even more air, and slowly release the air out my nostrils.  This relaxes every muscle in my body and relaxes my mind for at least a few seconds to minutes.  Every little bit helps.
  • Reading – Takes my minds to another world whether its fiction or non-fiction I am unable to keep my mind both on the anxieties and the book.  So my mind chooses the task at hand, usually the book.
  • Music – Whether listening, singing, or playing music is a great way to get your mind off of whatever negative thoughts are in your mind or feelings in your body.  Music gets in your blood and you can feel it throughout your body and soul.
  • Acceptance – Accept that you’re anxious, that its okay, and that eventually the negative thoughts will pass. 
  • Positive Self Talk – Constantly tell yourself positive things when the intrusive thoughts come to help soften the anxiety.
  • Thought Replacement – When negative thoughts come, make a list of things to do or think, and go through the list every time that thought comes, and eventually your mind will go to a topic or thought on your list.  This worked for me and suicidal thoughts.  I made a list and the first thing on my list was to sing “Barbara Ann” by the Beach Boys and now every time I suicidal thought comes into my head I end up singing “Barbara Ann”.
  • Reach Out – Your family and friends care, they will sit down and help you through.  Just remember to help them through their tough times too.