In Crisis

What do you do in a mental heath crisis? Suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, overwhelming anxiety, thoughts and feelings of wanting to hurt yourself. All of these can be overwhelming and feel insurmountable. In this blog entry I will give you what I believe is the general guideline for mental illness. How we cope. Each of these are in directions of severity, if one doesn’t work, you move to the next. However, if you find the severity of your condition and issue is higher than a beginning stage you should start yourself farther down the spectrum. Mind you I am no mental health professional. All of this is just from my own experience. Coping Skills, Group therapy, Therapy, Psychiatry, Crisis Hotlines, and Hospital/ER are all *COPING STRATEGIES I use.

Coping Skills are specific skills we use to cope we said event. Skills I use in example include deep breathing exercises, journaling, calling a friend(works for me in more severe times), journaling, reading, just overall keeping myself busy. These exercises work by changing our thoughts to a completely new topic. As humans, as much as we like to argue about it, we are atrocious at multi-tasking. Journaling is a one of the unique coping skills. It typically makes us face what we are fearing. Who, what, where, when, why, how? The idea of journaling is to get it out of your brain and onto paper. The next coping skills like journaling are focused on getting it out of our brain.

I started group therapy at the end of May 2018 for a complete year I missed very few meetings. Here recently I have missed many, but plan to attend some shortly. The idea of therapy is things come out of it. One, it again gets those negative thoughts out of your head, and lets you share what your dealing with. Two, it helps you hone your coping skills and develop new ones. In a group setting you get to hear what works for a multitude of people. You also get to share what works for you. Many people benefit by helping others. Like group therapy, therapy focuses on honing your skills and developing new ones. Therapy and psychiatry go hand in hand, however.

The difference between therapy and group therapy is that therapy is one on one. They can help you with your problems individually. Anything you aren’t comfortable sharing. They can also give you specialized coping skills and specialized skills unique to your situation and life. One thing therapy should not be is just talking about your issues. The therapist should be proactive on developing your skills. Good therapists are hard to find. Do not be afraid to keep searching if you aren’t happy. Psychiatry is medication management. A lot of the time what we with mental illness endure is a chemical imbalance. Which can be improved to a point with medication. Psychiatry, a lot of the time, needs to be helped with therapy. Sometimes medication only improves it to a point and therapy needs to help develop your coping skills. The next two on the spectrum are typically the last used. Unless your condition severity calls for it.

1-800-273-8255 is the number for the Crisis hotline. They are trained in handling any crisis you have. From suicidal thoughts and ideations, rape, incest, addiction, anything you may have even if you just want to talk. I have used them several times. They are very well trained and respectful to what you have going on. They can get you the help you need. The Hospital/ER is the last step and they have everything you need. They will certainly get you the help you need. They are fully competent in this area. I have been to the hospital more times then I can count on one hand. Each time they have helped me with what they call “Crisis Management”. They get your crisis under control. Also they medicate you and get you therapy.

When you utilize all these coping strategies the goal is that you will need your coping skills at the bare minimum. That is the ultimate goal. But if your like me you also need the group therapy, therapy, and psychiatrist. I also occasionally need the crisis hotline. Once in a while I also need the hospital. Never be embarrassed that you need any of these strategies. It is just a part of living with our illness. I hope this helps, and I wish you the best in your journey.

*Coping Strategies – “a behavior, sequence of behaviors, or mental process employed to satisfy a taxing or unfavorable scenario or in changing one’s response to such a scenario.” – Psychology Dictionary

How do I find purpose? Meaning?

What does spirituality mean to me? Spirituality means having a sense of purpose and having a sense of meaning. I should be able to answer the question, “Why am I here?” The Oxford Dictionary definition of spirituality is, the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things. Spirituality is not religion. However, at times spirituality and religion do go hand in hand. One can be spiritual without being religious. Spirituality is asking ideational questions. How do I find meaning? purpose? Others?

Taking Charge – What is Spirituality

For a sense of meaning and for my spiritual cup to be filled need a sense of belonging, community, association, and fellowship. I feel most accomplished when in service to others. But how can others find meaning?

Everyone finds meaning differently, but I believe you need to answer these 7 questions?

  • Who and what brings me meaning in my life?
  • What is important to me?
  • What am I truly good at?
  • What is my potential?
  • What is my perception of life, why are you here?
  • What is my definition of love, and where do I find it?
  • What are my intentions?

20 Questions For Every Spiritual Seeker

1. Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?
2. What is the relationship between science and religion?
3. Why are so many people depressed?
4. What are we all so afraid of?
5. When is war justifiable?
6. How would God want us to respond to aggression and terrorism?
7. How does one obtain true peace?
8. What does it mean to live in the present moment?
9. What is our greatest distraction?
10. Is current religion serving its purpose?
11. What happens to you after you die?
12. Describe heaven and how to get there.
13. What is the meaning of life?
14. Describe God.
15. What is the greatest quality humans possess?
16. What is it that prevents people from living to their full potential?
17. Nonverbally, by motion or gesture only, act out what you believe to be the current condition of the world.
18. What is your one wish for the world?
19. What is wisdom and how do we gain it?
20. Are we all one?

In the hustle and bustle of today’s life we often lose the meaning of it, By living up to what we consider other’s expectations of us are. Not our own. We need to decide who we want to be and live up to it. There’s a quote by Terry Pratchett and it goes “If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become someone else’s story.” This explains, make your own story by sharing your own experiences, channeling your own emotions, and most of all finding your own purpose.

How My Spirituality Suffers, Am I Good Enough?

Spirituality is something I would like to say I claim to have all the time, and is solidified in my existence. I am a firm believer in a set of beliefs, known to be as a religion and faith. Many others before me have questioned their own existence at times. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Where will I go when I die?

Unfortunately I have to say that my mental health is rarely in check. So I often ask myself these questions, and it causes me insurmountable anxiety. What do we do when our Spiritual beliefs are in question? When we are asking what if? When our Mental Health is suffering and giving us negative thinking patterns? I don’t know if I am qualified to answer the question. On the spiritual basis. As I am just starting to re-attain my affiliation with my higher power. However, on a mental health basis I believe I am qualified. Although my mental health is rarely in check it fluctuates. I will, however, give advice on both spiritual struggles because of your mental struggles.

I struggle a lot with self confidence and self acceptance issues. This can easily lead you to understand why I have a spiritual crisis at times. If I can’t accept myself, how can I accept that I am a good person or/and that my higher power will accept me. It comes down to self love. At times I have a lot of it. Other times I have absolutely none. I was told by my therapist this. “I overcompensate my actions, because I’m an addict, and constantly worry that I will self-sabotage.” That is why I constantly worry am I doing the right thing, good enough for me, my higher power, or someone else. How can I overcome this? It comes down to two things, self love and trusting oneself.

How do you do these two things you may ask? I have stolen the following 8 steps from

Increase Your Self-Love: 8 Ways to Be Good to Yourself – TinyBuddha – By: Pinky Jangra

1. Set boundaries.

A good sign of how much you love yourself is how you let other people treat you.

Do they walk all over you?

Do you go to the ends of the earth to please them, at the detriment of yourself?

Do they speak or act unkindly to you, put you down, and trample on your dreams?

Do they put you at the bottom of their list?

Although I’ve experienced all of these things, people pleasing was my big one. I always said yes to people for fear of upsetting them. As a result, I spent precious time and energy in situations that I didn’t even want to be in.

Setting boundaries is often as simple as knowing when to say no. We worry that people will stop liking us if we do this. But, I find that if you do it confidently and lovingly, those who care will respect you for it and even change their behavior with you. And those who do walk away, do you really want them there anyway?

2. Watch your self-talk.

I once read, “If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, would they still be your friends?” In my case they certainly wouldn’t, because I’d be saying things like:

You’re thirty-two and you still get pimples, your teeth are wonky, and you’re getting out of shape.

You’re not going to achieve your goals.

You don’t have a right to ask for what you want or speak your mind—keep quiet.

Other people are more important than you; their wishes should come first.

Imagine saying that to your friends! You’d never say it to them, so don’t say it to yourself.

With self-awareness and practice we can notice these thoughts in our minds and make a conscious decision to stop them or reverse them into positives.

3. Take time to “do you.”

There’s always someone who wants a piece of you—your boss, spouse, kids, friends, parents, siblings, the bank manager. Do you know who else wants and needs a piece of you? You!

When we truly love someone, we take time to nurture their well-being. How often do you do this for yourself?

I know life is busy, but I always make time to do things that make me feel looked after—exercise, time alone, a little pampering. Giving yourself permission to nurture yourself creates the beliefs that you are worthy and loved.

4. Be honest with yourself and others.

If someone’s dishonest with you, you don’t like it. Same goes for when you are dishonest with yourself—it hurts! Being honest in my eyes means that our words and actions reflect the truth of our heart and soul—in front of anyone and everyone.

For years I was dishonest with my family about who I really was.

I liked to party, drank alcohol, had relationships, and had no interest in getting an arranged marriage. This may seem normal to most, but these things were all frowned upon by my family. So although I did them, I also hid them.

This dishonesty seemed harmless until I realized that I was sending an unloving message to myself that who I really was, was wrong and shameful.

Being honest about my feelings is my biggest challenge, as it makes me feel vulnerable. But in vulnerability lies great power, so I try and speak my truth as often as possible.

The more you do it, the easier it becomes, and as long as you are not hurting anyone, expression from a place of honesty opens up so much space inside you. You feel free. You feel worthy. You feel loved.

5. Allow yourself to feel painful emotions, and nurture yourself through them.

For some reason we have learned to shun feelings of hurt, sadness, fear, depression, hopelessness, and so on, as if they are somehow wrong. When I was sad and hurt after a breakup, pride took the part of me that was sad and tried to shut it away.

I had little compassion or acceptance for my own feelings of rejection, hurt, and unworthiness. I tried to quickly move on from heartbreak, dealing with everything in my head rather than my heart. So this pain remained inside me, unloved and unhealed.

What if a small child were sad? We’d comfort them because we love them and want them to feel supported. They are fragile. But so are you. We are all fragile when in pain, so we must support ourselves, comfort ourselves, and love ourselves when we need it most.

6. Let yourself off the hook.

There’s no such thing as perfection, though you could say that you are perfect in your imperfection. Everyone makes mistakes or struggles at some things, it’s natural. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to get everything right.

So isn’t it funny that we berate ourselves—the opposite of love—for not meeting a standard that’s impossible to reach in the first place? There’s no winning there! The only way to win is to let yourself off the hook.

7. Watch who you spend time with.

They say you turn out like the five people you spend most time with.

Many years ago I remember being surrounded by people who had quite a negative outlook on life. We all go through dark times, but none of us want to get trapped in them.

I realized the most loving thing we can do to help ourselves out of a negative state is surround ourselves with positive energy. The goal isn’t to find people who are always positive—none of us are. It’s to spend time around people who are making a conscious effort to release negativity.

Your life is too precious. Love yourself enough to distance yourself from people who dim your light and find those who help you shine brighter.

8. Know who you really are.

Because when you find out who you really are, you won’t be able to help but love yourself.

Did you know, almost every element on Earth was formed at the heart of a star? So your body is made of stardust! Your soul is a pure and powerful energy. Your life as you know it, is a unique expression in consciousness that will never exist again. You are a miracle. Who doesn’t love a miracle?

So if you were to ask me now, how much do I love myself? I’d say six or seven. I’ve still got work to do, and decades of conditioning to be dissolved. But life is a journey. Few things come to us instantly, especially this sort of transformation.

Learning to love ourselves may be our life’s work. And true joy comes from the realization that not only do you deserve love, you are love.

Take time to mend the steps together

I personally have trouble focusing on the individual steps. Feeling like I am only accomplishing one step and not all of them. All of these steps intermingle between self-trust and self-love. Blend them, mend them, let them work together and know the inner workings of each other step. That is where you will find your answer. To, Why am I here? And what is my purpose?

As far as where you will go when you die, you need a qualified individual. A spiritual or faith based leader if that is the type of answer you are seeking. For me I do worry about it. I just try to do my best on a daily basis, and show everyone the same love I wish to be shown.

Well those are my feelings towards my mental health and my spirituality and how I face them and how I need to improve. I need to focus less on the individual steps, and focus more on how they can work together. Once I can do that I will be more comfortable in my skin, and maybe better equipped to handle my mental illness.