The Struggle Is Real
I’m struggling immensely lately. Excessively bad aren’t words I would use to describe what I’m going through. Neither is the word okay. I feel like one would feel on the somnolent dismal and melancholy mornings they have closed a close loved one. No I haven’t lost a close loved one. My chest however, is heavy like I have. Sometimes I’m just not in touch enough with my emotions to know where my feelings are coming from.
Ever since my mental illness stepped into my life, my abilities to understand what my emotions are telling me have diminished. When will my abilities come back? I want to be able to know exactly what is going on. Yes I have some things going on. Though, they shouldn’t be causing these feelings I have.
I haven’t gotten any sleep. Tossing and turning all night, I did toss and turn about things that were on my mind. Are these the things that are giving me a heavy feeling to my body? Am I just minimizing the effects of my anxieties on my body?
I have come a long way on my mental health journey. A life long battle is an understanding I have that it will be. But am I losing that battle? I feel like I constantly struggle with no improvement. Working on self improvement is something I constantly do in therapy. It was the whole reason I started this blog.