Sorry For The Hiatus

I Am Sorry

It has been quite a while since I have blogged. Four months to be exact. I have not been in the best spirits. Things have finally started looking up, even though anxiety still tries to get me down. Good things happen but that voice in the back of my mind still tries to tell me this isn’t real and its all going to flip upside down any second. Honestly in the beginning I did this blog more for other people than I did for myself, I think I need to start focusing on myself at least equally if not a tad more than everyone else as for the blog is concerned.

One day a week.

That is my goal. One day a week. I will attempt to meet my expectation of blogging at least that much. Not too much to get overwhelmed but not too little to where I literally forget about it and have completely wasted my money on a blog that is floating amongst the internet.

Lets talk about routine.

That is one thing I don’t have. It’s one thing that the mentally ill yearn for and strive to achieve. When we have routine we limit the occurrences of the unknown and we can predict what our day is going to be like before it ever happens. Obviously we can’t predict everything, but you get the gist. If we at least somewhat have a routine, we limit the time our mind wanders around thinking negative thoughts and possibly getting us into trouble.

My goal

For the coming year is to improve on my routine. As of now I basically have none. I will start slow, a day or two a week I will go to a meeting or event. Eventually I will work up to a daily routine. This doesn’t mean schedule your day like military basic training. It merely means schedule your day to limit the time your mind has to wander. And Lord knowns, my mind needs a break. I would like to find a hobby. I have a lot of extra time on my hands, and I want to find something new I enjoy, lately I’ve lost enjoyment out of literally everything. I want to maybe find something new to try and hopefully regain my ability for enjoyment.

Well clocking out for tonight, hopefully I will talk to you soon and God Bless, and Best of Health!

Welcome To My Own Worst Critic

Welcome, My name is Justin and I have Mental Illness. Addiction also runs through my veins. I am glad to say I have been clean several years. This blog was meant to be more about me than about you. I will post journal entries here, but I will also post advice and often entire posts about mental health though. We are often toughest on ourselves, and I do not lack innocence. For I am in fact My Own Worst Critic.

I put on a façade for everyone, that says I was better then I was, and superior to them. In reality I was inferior to the most unfavorable. When you do things that don’t align with your beliefs, they become a habit, and that fixation or impulse is exhausting and troublesome to breach. When I evaluated, revaluated, and revaluated myself over, over time, I improved on my contravening actions and poor portrayal of how a human should act.” – Justin