Welcome To My Own Worst Critic

Welcome, My name is Justin and I have Mental Illness. Addiction also runs through my veins. I am glad to say I have been clean several years. This blog was meant to be more about me than about you. I will post journal entries here, but I will also post advice and often entire posts about mental health though. We are often toughest on ourselves, and I do not lack innocence. For I am in fact My Own Worst Critic.

I put on a façade for everyone, that says I was better then I was, and superior to them. In reality I was inferior to the most unfavorable. When you do things that don’t align with your beliefs, they become a habit, and that fixation or impulse is exhausting and troublesome to breach. When I evaluated, revaluated, and revaluated myself over, over time, I improved on my contravening actions and poor portrayal of how a human should act.” – Justin

Revolutions Between Situational Anxiety And Anxiety

What is situational Anxiety and anxiety?

We will have to start by defining the latter half of this question first. Anxiety is defined as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” – Oxford Dictionary…This only can mean that situational anxiety is the exact same thing but is caused by a situation, rather than a predisposition or mental illness.

How Anxiety Affects Me

A crippling bothersome feeling overwhelms me. The constant underlying feeling of losing control. A heavy feeling of heaviness on your chest. I feel just like Giles Corey in The Crucible. Except the difference is instead of saying “More weight” I beg for the weight to be lifted off of me. Anger always seems to get the best of me as I get irritated at the most rational request. On the inside I feel sad and lonely because I am short with people. So I will seclude myself causing even more loneliness. Most of the time it is regular anxiety that affects me. I can’t narrow it down what is bothering me. That bothers me more. Then it becomes situational anxiety because I have anxiety about why I have anxiety. It’s troublesome sharing my situational anxiety with people. I feel defenseless. Putting down my defenses, and sharing everything about myself is almost near impossible. Even to the people I’m closest to. I get my anxiety out by writing in my journal and this blog(Which I haven’t done the best this past week). Other times, which most of the time, I don’t handle my anxiety well. I just pace the floor. I did something different this time and wrote a rap about my anxiety. I used some words that are old English. If you don’t understand them, it’s okay. I knew what I meant and that is what mattered.

My Anxiety Rap

In the distance my reality seems quaint
For the realm I live in, the thoughts, and dreams
Are as I say ever-so far from faint

With my life lack of quate
Or maybe just in my eyes
For in another’s it may be far from innate

Though nobody may ask, I am no saint
But what begotten are the…
These anxieties that act more like a haint

My mind tells me things, they’re taint-
-ed….It only tells me what I could do
Not what I can do, as I said what I caint

My self respect is at all low, that I don’t participate
It never feels good, to have no self love
But what I need to believe, is me, me, I am abstrait

Abstract, abstract is what I am, unique, unique is first-rate
I say first-rate but what I mean is I’m in first-place
If only if I could feel, how I feel when I make others’ elate

What your reading is an abstrait
of My first-rate, my first-rate first-place rap
About my anxieties, how I feel, and how they’re collate-
-ed

Removing Negative People

Removing Negative People From Our Lives

Friends and relatives have a huge impact on our lives. So when we have toxic and negative individuals you begin to form resentments. Resentments make you feel bad about yourself, and nobody wants to feel resentments. There are times however, when we can’t avoid being around these negative and toxic individuals so what do we do and how do we remove them from our life?

Surround Yourself With Positive Friends

Toxic people are harmful, but positive friends are helpful. The more positive the friend is the more likely the negative individual is going to stay away from you. “Stay close to the people who make you feel happy” – Power Of Positivity

Turn Your Attention To Positive Things

Stay close to positive things and positive people. Keep your mind of the negative people. As you start looking towards the positive they will start to dissipate from your life.

Understand And Own Up To Your Weaknesses

Knowing what you are weak at will help you understand why toxic people surround you. It will also make you self aware and help you improve on yourself. It will also help you avoid being manipulated because of your weaknesses.

Set Boundaries

Knowing your own boundaries is key in setting up who you are as an individual. But setting them up is especially important to keep toxic people out of and remove them from your life. Letting them know your boundaries will keep them at a distance and help you in the long run.

Have Confidence

Have confidence in who you are. Who you want to be. Who you want and don’t want in your life. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and let people know when they are over stepping your boundaries.

Speak Up

Back to having confidence. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Speak your mind and let the toxic individuals know that you don’t enjoy their company and don’t want to be around them.

The Types Of Toxic People

We all have them in our life. They often cause us undeniable emotional damage to our lives. It is best if we just separate contact with them. Forever, or until they change their ways. There are 8 different arc-types of toxic people.

One Who Overly Criticizes

They suffer from a poor sense of self and self-esteem. For some reason it seems they improve their sense of self by criticizing others. Stay away from them, they make you feel inadequate.

One Who Wastes Our Time

Other individuals may take extreme pleasure and value in your time. These individuals do not. Seeking out attention is what they are good at. Better at nothing rather than wasting our time.

One Who Continually Disappoints

Everyone doesn’t meet expectations now and then. We all disappoint. When it becomes a constant battle uphill with this individual is when it becomes a burden on us.

One Who Constantly Self-Redirects

Self centeredness definitely describes this individual. They redirect conversations serious or not to revolve around themselves. They aren’t much of a giver in a relationship, they tend to be takers.

One Who Is Always Indifferent

We want to feel loved in our relationship. Not just feel tolerated. Those who are indifferent often just become comfortable with us and tolerate our existence. They don’t reciprocate our feelings of love. They just show indifference.

One Who Is Excessively Jealous

Being envious occasionally is a part of life. However, being excessively jealous is not. An individual who is excessively jealous is rarely grateful. They often scorn those for success.

One Who Is Profusely Negative

Negativity is contagious. None of us, mental illness or not, need any more negativity in our lives. This arc-type is very obvious. They are constantly complaining and whining. They are often void of positive energy, unless things are absolutely perfect.

One Who “Plays The Victim Card”

One who holds grudges and often plays the victim card is a tell tale sign of this toxic arc-types. They act very childish at times and know how to manipulate to get their way.

Stay Tuned For The Next Blog

On how to remove toxic people from your life.